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Sep 22 Band Name! ...Permanent Link

Rock Hard Tasty Beats I love music. Mostly ‘Rock’ and sub-genres thereof. But I don’t dismiss anything because of it’s genre really. And the days of giving a toss about being / looking cool, or being up with the latest craze, faded away years ago. So I like what I like.

I also fiddle a bit on my guitar, have been in a few half-arsed bands, and I’ve been to a fair number of gigs – especially in the last 12 months or so: Fightstar (I know what you’re thinking – mono-brow from ‘Busted’ ... but they are a lot better than you’d think, honest), Forward Russia!, Biffy Clyro, Muse, Snow Patrol, The Bees, Scott Matthews, Lost Alone ... loads more. Can’t be arsed listing them all and, lets face it, you not even the slightest bit interested, are you …

Sigh. Anyways. As per usual I’m twittering and not getting to the point …

When I’m out havin’ a few beers with my buddies, conversation can often dry up – this is mainly due to the following:

  • running out of general topics of interest to discuss
  • when I’m not out, spending too much time doing geeky things involving code and computers and therefore not actually being that socially interesting as an individual anymore
  • drinking to the point where long well structured sentences become hard to form in one’s beer drenched noggin-sponge (brain)

So. What to do to fill the silence. One of my favourite things to do is to go round everyone, one by one, in a circle each saying 1 word to write a letter (Dear … Bob … I … am … writing … etc. etc.), but my mates don’t seem as keen as me on that one. But there is one stupid-waste-of-time game that we all seem to enjoy … Band Names.

Here are the rules:

1. Come up with a really obscure stupid and funny name for a band

That’s it. Genius. It’s especially funny if conversation does return to normal topics, but then a band name is just thrown in as if from nowhere. The game that just keeps giving.

Here are a collection of some memorable names we’ve come up with over years:

  • Flexible Chin Weapon
  • Rubber Milk
  • The Fake Wallets
  • Best Mates
  • Kind and Special Men (I imagine this band as kind of ‘Erasure’ meets ‘Slipknot’)
  • Exquisite Jelly Knob
  • Taxi of Champions
  • The Gammon Berets
  • Egg on bum
  • Shaving Daddy
  • A Pet Woman with Movement Problems
  • The Genital Bibs
  • Massive Glacial Shift
  • Woollen Canoe
  • The Optical Shaft Encoders

Let’s be honest. They would make spiffing band names make no mistake chum.

I saw the other day that there is a Rock / Emo / Punk band called Aiden. Aiden??! I knew a boy at school called Aiden. He was a very nice boy who excelled in Mathematics and German. I don’t want a Rock / Emo / Punk band name to remind me of a very nice boy at school who excelled in Mathematics and German!

Here are a couple of alternatives I feel are a lot more suitable considering the genre. I’ve also included a ‘debut album title’, just for, yer know, “fun”:

Withered Gland
with the début album
Standing Tall at the Reception Desk of Anguish

or perhaps

Smashed-up Pregnant Kidney
with the debut album
Satan up yer bum with a hammer drill

(Hmmm, perhaps that last one is more ‘death metal’ than ‘emo’. Hands up those who think I’ve gone too far (‘’,) ...)

So. Anyone else got any obscure funny band name ideas? Anyone in a band want to use any of the above for their band name? Are there any bands out there who, strangely, are already called one of the above? Are there any bands out there who have episodes of ‘Poirot’ recorded on Sky+? What does Bovril actually taste like? Did aliens build the pyramids? Where are my blue flared trousers I bought from Scope? I can’t find them anywhere …

Bye!

  1. bgw | Sep 22, 23:05 | #

    My mates’ have a band named ‘Cardiac’, unbeknown to them there is an ever so slightly more established band named ‘Cardiacs’.

    So say pick your favorite band that ends in “s”, and drop it. The perfect band name.

    ‘Alice in Chain’, ‘Deftone’, ‘Jaco Pastoriou’, and my favorite ‘Pixie’.

  2. kevadamson | Sep 23, 11:48 | #

    @ bgw : That’s quite a good plan – especially to get a bit of unintentional free publicity. Apparently Audioslave was actually a small band in England, and Audioslave (Chris Cornell and bloke from Rage Against the Machine) bought the name off them for a quite a large amount of cash. That could be a lie though. Might’ave dreamt it …

    Perhaps rather than adding / taking away an ’s’, you could find the alternative meaning. For example: Rage Against the Machine becomes Furiously Touching the Engine. Perhaps if you want to be another Morrisey you could call yourself Limp Flannel or Absolute Idiot, or something …

  3. Jen | Nov 24, 01:04 | #

    I wish you were my boyfriend, you’d be a lot of fun!

  4. kevadamson | Nov 24, 02:14 | #

    @Jen : < blushing > Crumbs! < /blushing >

  5. Jen | Nov 29, 03:10 | #

    My favourite band names right now are:

    • Pure Cicatrix
    • Night Piss
    • Temperamental Influx
    • Ambitious Decay
    • Scuba divers in pain

    ... which is strange, because my band still doesn’t have a name? After 7 months of writing together and the guys still don't like any of my band name suggestions? I don't get it! Why do you think that is?

    Jen

  6. kevadamson | Dec 4, 20:59 | #

    @Jen : Heh! Hmmm, that is a mystery. I mean: ‘Scuba Divers in Pain’, that has ‘multiple world-wide number one hit albums’ written all over it!

    Now these guys: www.myspace.com/gogolbordello – they got the name, the look, the sound. Thank goodness for postmodernism.

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